The Editing Agenda: Making Your Sentences Stronger

If there’s one thing that makes writing weaker than anything else, it’s those blasted filter words and passive sentences. They work their way into multiple paragraphs, sucking them dry, and before you know it, your manuscript has withered away into nothingness! Okay, not really. But they are a nuisance, and they do tend to sprout in unwanted places, making your writing less than awesome. So how do you identify filter words and passive lines, and how do you improve them?

Identifying Weak vs. Strong

Let’s start with filter words and phrases. Filter words are ones that put a veil between the reader and the character. Instead of the reader directly experiencing the action as the narrator or main character does, they hear it through a secondhand account. Many editors (myself included) will argue that the use of filter words—effectively summarization—separates the reader from the events of the story, making it harder for them to connect with the book and its characters. Many of you might recognize this as the old show, don’t tell technique.

The upside to identifying these filter phrases is there are some key words that can tip you off. Here are a few of the main ones:

  • to begin
  • to try
  • to seem
  • to start
  • to watch
  • to realize
  • to notice
  • to look
  • to feel
  • to decide
  • can/could/couldn’t
  • to know
  • to find
  • to remember
  • to be able to
  • to note
  • to let
  • to experience
  • to wonder
  • to touch
  • to gaze
  • to observe
  • to help
  • to become

These words won’t always indicate weak writing, but if you find one of these phrases or a variation of one, chances are pretty high that the sentence is in need of editing, even if it’s just to condense. To illustrate how filter words and phrases can distract the reader and overshadow an otherwise sound passage, here’s an example of a paragraph riddled with these creatures:

Jennifer WATCHED the school disappear and then closed her eyes, LETTING the scene slowly fill her head. She REALIZED just how slowly she was moving when she APPROACHED the finish line, and she FELT the air rush past her cheeks as she BECAME the first to finish. She heard the others behind her, but they were far enough away that she COULDN'T make out their words.

Now let’s take that same paragraph and reword, eliminating the filter words and strengthening each line:

As the school disappeared from view, Jennifer closed her eyes, the scene slowly filling her head. Her feet lunged toward the finish line in slow strides, and air rushed past her cheeks as the tape broke across her chest. She had done it. She’d won! The others straggled far behind, their words garbled in the wind.

Which paragraph would you rather read? Which one makes you feel more connected to Jennifer? Chances are, you picked the second paragraph. Not only is the veil lifted between the reader and the character using this method, the writing itself is clearer and more concise. Think of this technique as watching a movie versus a friend telling you about the same movie. While you can get a pretty good idea about what happened in a movie when your friend recounts it, the experience will likely be a more pleasant one if you see it firsthand. This technique also explains why first person and close third points of view have become popular in modern works of fiction—readers find it much easier to connect with those narrative styles.

Here are some additional articles I recommend for tackling filter words:

http://writeitsideways.com/are-these-filter-words-weakening-your-fiction/

http://www.invisibleinkediting.com/2013/12/23/how-to-find-filter-words-and-filter-them-out/

 

Taking the Active Approach

Another pest that may be inhabiting your paragraphs are passive sentences. Passive sentences are those in which the subject does not perform the action but rather the action is done unto them. While a few of these are okay, a manuscript filled with them can have the same effect as filter words and phrases: an unfortunate veil between the reader and your characters.

For example, let’s take this paragraph about a cake (because, you know, who doesn’t love a good cake?):

There WAS a three-tiered cake on the counter with chocolate icing. As I stepped closer and took a bite, I COULD TELL THERE WERE different flavors for each layer. The top layer HAD TO BE chocolate—my favorite. But the middle WAS much lighter in color, presumably a plain white cake. The bottom layer CONSISTED OF more chocolate cake, but it HAD BEEN FILLED with a gooey cherry filling. The cake TASTED absolutely delicious!

Apart from these lines being mostly passive and sprinkled with filter phrases, there’s little about the flavor and texture of the cake. After reading this passage, a reader might think, “Hey, cake sounds kind of good right about now.” But that’s not what we're after. We don’t want the reader to crave just any cake—we want them to crave that specific cake.

Here’s the same paragraph with active sentences, more descriptors, and fewer filter phrases:

A three-tiered cake sat on the counter, creamy chocolate icing covering every inch of its surface. As I stepped closer and popped a bite into my mouth, an array of flavors coated my taste buds. A powerful punch of fluffy chocolate cake—my favorite—created the first layer. A lighter-colored layer of plain white cake followed. An additional layer of chocolate cake lined the bottom, but a gooey cherry filling seeped through its pores, and a definite sweet-but-tart flavor danced on my tongue. Absolutely delicious!

To avoid passive sentences, I use a two-fold approach. The first task is to identify all the linking verbs and eliminate them wherever possible. The same is true for filter words and phrases. This may take a few attempts and sometimes even a considerable amount of wording, but that’s okay. If the changes make your sentences more powerful, the effort will be worth it. Once you’ve identified those and made necessary changes, go back through each line and apply some personification. This is an especially useful method for tackling descriptive paragraphs like the one above.

Though you may be skeptical that small changes like these make such a big difference to your manuscript, give it a try. It might take a considerable amount of time and rewording, but the process is well worth it. The result will be stronger sentences and an overall stronger manuscript.

10 Things 2015 Taught Me About Writing

A new year is now upon us, and with that comes the tradition of setting new goals and facing new challenges and achieving new victories. But I’m not quite done with 2015 yet. In fact, I’d like to think that my new year really began back in November—and it started with Nanowrimo. For those of you who haven’t heard of it yet, Nanowrimo gets a pretty mixed reputation. It’s an event where writers around the world pledge to write a 50,000-word novel during the month of November. While some say that it’s a great thing, others say that encourages churning out crap stories, which some writers then seek to publish without ever revising. But whichever your stance, I think the heart of Nanowrimo, to push ourselves as writers and learn from it, really resonates with most of us. So this is my resolution for the new year: I want to use the things I learned in 2015 to make myself a better writer this year. And I want to start a new tradition of my own—an end of the year list for how I grew as a writer.

1. No more excuses. I’ve stopped making excuses for why I don’t have time to write. Yes, I’m busy. I’m a full-time stay-at-home mom of two kids under five. I also happen to be a professional editor. And believe me, there are so many things that can and do get in the way of my writing. I’ve been stopped midsentence by everything from phone calls and emails to sibling rivalries and food being thrown. But this past year, I’ve learned to prioritize. It really is that simple. If you want to be an author, you have to treat it as a career, not as a hobby. And if you want others to take your writing seriously, you have to be the first one to do so. Sometimes that means putting everything else aside or putting a few things on hold to make it happen. Being an author is all about making sacrifices and learning how to balance those things that are important to you.

2. Challenging yourself is important. Whether you participated in Nanowrimo last November or not, challenges and deadlines for writing projects will likely be something you can relate to. We’ve all had them, either for school or work or personal goals, and we all know what it feels like when we succeed in those challenges. One way to keep that positive energy and use it to improve our writing skills is by doing writing sprints. Writing sprints will force you to sit down and hammer out as many words as you can. Even if what you write is completely crap (and it likely will be as a rough draft), you’re still doing yourself a favor. You’re pushing yourself and keeping the creative juices flowing. I actually did participate in Nanowrimo for the first time this past year, and believe me, what I wrote probably is complete crap. But it was a still a massive accomplishment. I pushed myself, and as a result, I grew as a writer—and completed another short story.

3. Daily writing habits are overrated—but they still help. This has been my kryptonite for years. I love writing, and I wish I had the motivation to do so every day. But the truth is, sometimes I just don’t feel like it. And that’s fine. There will be days where you can’t write or don’t feel like writing. But the best thing you can do for yourself as a writer is still to make it a habit, even if it’s not daily. Some weeks it’ll be easy, and others it’ll be a massive struggle. But in the end, it’s still our job as writers to sit our butts in a comfy chair—perhaps with a furball or two around—and write!

4. Failure can still be a success. Did I fail in 2015? You betcha. Loads of times. I fell behind on my blog. I didn’t write every day. I took naps when I should have been working on manuscripts. I let my kids watch a few too many cartoons so I could have some extra me time occasionally. Heck, I even fell short at Nanowrimo. I barely reached 10,000 words. But I had some tremendous successes too. I made connections with other writers. I finished the first draft for part two of a short story series I’m writing. I gained loads of followers for my blog and on Twitter and even got some new subscribers to my newsletter. I finally got over my fear of reaching out to the community when it came to my writing, and I signed up for my first local author event. I’ve written more this year than I have in the past three years combined! Bottom line, I GREW as a writer. And that far surpasses any how any failure could make me feel.

5. The first draft will be crap. As an editor, I really should have known that my first drafts would be less than perfect. But somehow, I got it in my head that because I know how things should be written, I’d be able to do it myself. Boy, was I wrong. But after getting over the initial frustration of my first draft being an embarrassment to writers everywhere, I used that to fuel the editing stage. My point is, not every draft is going to be a good one—especially the first one. And that’s okay! It’s what makes us human and what makes us writers such hard workers. We write…and then we rewrite. How good your first draft is doesn’t matter nearly as much as what you do with it to make it better.

6. I don’t have to go this journey alone. If you do a quick search on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or any other social media site, you’ll find swarms of writing groups. Most of us face similar issues in our writing, and one of the most awesome perks to this century is that you don’t have to look very far for support. There have been a few writing groups that I’ve joined over the past year or two, and I can’t tell you how much help they’ve been with my journey. I’ve had more successes because of their encouragement and support than I ever would have gotten on my own. It sounds mushy, but it’s the truth. We’re stronger in numbers.

7. There are millions of writers in the world. But there’s only ONE with my voice. This has been one of the hardest lessons for me to swallow this past year. I’ve let self-doubt creep in one too many times, crumbling my piles of success. Is my story really worth sharing? Am I really a good writer? Am I even an okay writer? Coming to terms with the fact that my voice really is unique was difficult. I struggled with self-confidence for a good portion of my life, and it’s only in recent years that I’ve really started to embrace it. And then there’s the fear of swinging the other way. Do I sound too arrogant? Can I really trust others with my ideas? What I’ve come to find out is confidence actually makes your voice. If you know what you want to say and aren’t afraid to say it, others will be passionate about your ideas too. And even if someone does try to steal your plot, they’ll never be able to tell it the same way you do. Why? You’re unique. There’s only one you, and no one knows your voice better than you do.

8. Plotting and pantsing can coexist. Personally, I’m more of a plotter myself—always have been. I like order and structure, and trying to write something off the top of my head goes against my nature as an editor. But you know what? Some of the most rewarding ideas for pieces I’ve had have come from pantsing. And after doing Nanowrimo and working with a few clients who are pantsers, I have a new appreciation for that group. I started Nano with a solid outline in place and an exact idea of what I wanted to write. And that did keep me on track and pushed me forward in the piece. I never ran out of ideas for getting through the story. But as I was writing, something else took over: my inner artist. And my characters! Sometimes they told me to go in a completely different direction—and I let them. If I had be stubborn with my outline and not listened to my gut, my story would have gone stale quickly. But by letting the story take a few odd and unexpected turns, my story turned out far better than it would have otherwise. And kudos to those who can pants and churn out a whole book! You guys are seriously talented.

9. Connections are a beautiful thing. Most of us at some point or another in our lives have been assured that the connections you make early on in your life can determine where your career goes. From personal experience, I can completely vouch for that statement. But making connections isn’t a hassle like I was led to believe. It’s actually a lot of fun. I’ve never been much of a people person, but being able to connect with other writers and even a few readers this year has been incredibly rewarding. I’ve had some fun debates and discussions with other people who love books, and a few of those have led to other opportunities. Several more of them have led to new friendships, new fans, and some new great books to read. Connections don’t have to be a pain. And if they feel forced, they probably aren’t genuine.

10. Marketing is a lot harder than it looks. Before I published my first book, I thought I had the whole marketing thing figured out. I did my research, read plenty of books on marketing, and had a plan in place. I was set. But I learned pretty quickly that there’s a lot more to it than that. Marketing is an ongoing process (including the pre-publication stage!), and mastering it takes some practice. There’s a fine line between promoting your books and spamming your followers. If you go on Twitter and search the hashtags #author or #amwriting, you’ll see exactly what I mean. A lot of authors are so busy promoting their books and retweeting other authors’ promos that they neglect to actually connect with their followers. Building genuine connections with other readers and writers is probably the most powerful marketing tool you have. The lasting impression you can make by chatting with people and taking an interest in them will go a lot further than some promo you shove in their face.

For those in need of some extra encouragement for their New Year’s writing resolutions, try this: start small. Setting yourself up for an unrealistic goal will only leave you disappointed and discouraged. Set smaller, daily goals for yourself, and reward yourself when you follow through. Writing fiction is challenging. I’ve been doing most of my life, and let me tell you, while you do get better at writing, it isn’t ever a piece of cake. So don’t sell yourself short when you only write 500 or even 200 words in a day! Every success, no matter how small, will lead to you being a better writer.

What did 2015 teach you?

10 Reasons Every Fiction Writer Should Learn Technical Writing

If you write fiction, you might be cringing at the words technical writing, but hear me out. Though fiction and technical pieces are very different and require unique skills, they also have a remarkable amount of overlap. I’ve been writing fiction most of my life, but I’ve spent much of my career working as a technical writer. I’ve worked on brochures, manuals, newsletters—you name it. It sounds pretty drab, but there’s something beautiful to me about meticulously crafting words into an artistic yet technical document. It’s not for everyone, but I enjoy it. So why am I insisting fiction writers learn it?

1. You'll learn to write concisely. Yes, fiction writing is an art and a creative process. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a method to it. By learning to write concisely, one of the main skills of technical writing, you can learn to get your point across quickly and efficiently without filling your story with a bunch of fluff. Too much fluff, and your readers will be removed from the story and might be less likely to continue reading. Just look at all the books out there about the craft of writing fiction. If there was no method, there’d be no reason for those books.

2. You'll get better at line editing. Technical writing focuses a lot on taking apart sentences and reconstructing them, especially since you often have a limited amount of space to fit the text. That knowledge will easily translate to line editing, where you’ll focus on the flow and wording of a sentence to make sure it doesn’t break from the style of the narrative; you’ll also learn to pick up on redundancies.

3. You'll improve the structure of your plot. Good technical writers are masters at structuring the content of their work in a way that will both inform and propel a reader through it. By learning that skill, you’ll gain critical insight as to what works in a story and what doesn’t. You’ll be able to better see if a scene is inappropriately placed or if it needs to be cut altogether.

4. You'll get a taste for another genre and develop experience and skills while doing so. For those who have dabbled in tech writing or have perused manuals and instruction booklets, you know that technical writing is a whole different beast from writing fiction. (That’s also part of the reason there are so many poorly written manuals.) Well-written manuals include only the essentials. They have one job: to give the reader knowledge about a particular product and to do so efficiently. They don’t—or at least shouldn’t—be wishy-washy and open to interpretation. Gaining experience in tech writing will help you establish a clear path for your story and give it a purpose. One of the biggest indicators of amateur writing is ambiguity. Tech writing skills can help you avoid that.

5. You'll gain a better understanding of which questions to ask and how to find the best editor/agent for your manuscript. One of the main tasks a technical writer undergoes is to research and ask questions. Loads of them. Tech writers are jacks of all trades; they acquire knowledge about many different subjects, and if they’re writing a piece on a subject they’re unfamiliar with, they are expected to track down those who do, interview them, then translate that knowledge into words the average Joe can understand. Having the skill to do so gives you a huge advantage as a fiction writer. It gives you the ability to know how to approach potential editors, agents, and publishers and CONNECT with them—a must in the publishing industry. It can also help you gain efficiency with your research.

6. You'll get a chance to dip your toes in graphic design. It’s true that you can hire a professional to design your book cover (which I highly recommend in most cases), but becoming familiar with the basics of graphic design can be very beneficial to you as an author. Apart from your cover, you’ll have to consider all the graphics you’ll need for marketing your book. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve published traditionally or independently; either way, you’ll be responsible for most of the marketing. If you’re a self-published author, having the skills to market your work will make or break your success. So how does tech writing play into this? As a technical writer, you learn the aesthetics of font and layout. You'll learn what draws readers’ attention, how to make focal points on a page, and how to create text-based designs in a limited amount of space. Take a look at any billboard or graphic on top social media profiles, and you'll see how quickly placement of text affects your perception of a brand.

7. You'll learn how to analyze your manuscript and take a critical approach with it. Since technical writing is all about writing, rewriting, and assessing your own work, the experience you’ll gain from learning the techniques involved can be invaluable when it comes to editing your fiction. Getting the first draft done is an awesome first step, but being able to see the bigger picture and reevaluate your work is crucial to its growth. I’ve read plenty of books that were published “as is” because the author didn’t want to change it, and I’ve read books that have been through hundreds of revisions because the first twenty times weren’t quite right. Believe me, I’ll take a thoroughly edited book over the others any day, and I’m betting you would too.

8. You'll acquire more marketing skills. In additional to the marketing benefits you get from studying graphic design, you can pick up even more through learning to write for a target audience. In a technical piece, it’s vital to first know your audience and then cater that piece to fit your audience. And while most of us fantasize about readers appreciating the artistic beauty in our books and the sometimes-flowery language within, the truth is, superfluous wording doesn’t sell 90% of the time. The ideas behind your book might be genius, but if the writing isn’t well executed and you can’t market it well, you’re still sunk.

9. You'll learn how to view your manuscript as a beta reader. Technical writing is all about trial and error. You write the document, test it to see how well it captures the use of a product, then revise it. You’ll likely have others reviewing it as well. Beta readers will do the same thing for your story. They’ll tell you what worked for them and what didn’t and what other readers might find confusing. Working in the technical writing industry can give you a better feel for that process, and it’ll teach you to view your own work through the eyes of a beta reader.

10. You'll get more experience with research. Tech writing is all about research. Like I mentioned before, most documents written in the tech industry are manuals, brochures, and articles explaining how something works. And since most of us don’t have extensive knowledge in science, math, engineering, medicine, etc., a lot of research is often required. Familiarizing yourself with the various methods of research and knowing how to apply what you find will have a tremendous effect on your ability to incorporate outside information into your novel. You’ll become well versed at weaving in facts and making them flow with the rest of the manuscript.